An old, Gen-X writer found the answer to the ages old question “What does she want from me?” Are you ready for the answer?
What up fellas (and ladies who chose to read this piece)? I’m a grizzled, old Gen X’er. Yup, I was around when Tupac was alive! I lived through the Macarena. I visited chat rooms. Anyhoo, due to my age, I’ve gained valuable life experience. And, I’ve learned a lot.
Especially about women.
You wanna know the most important thing I’ve learned about women? After years of relationships, friends with benefits-ships, drunk texts and friendzone imprisonments/escapes? The big secret? I know what women want. The number one thing they crave. The one thing that they have to have.
You wanna know what that is?
Are you ready?
The. Number. One. Thing. Women. Want. Is…
You read that right. Comfort.
Not your nice car (though that helps). Not your muscle (that can put you over the edge in some instances). Not your mini mansion (that is a hell of a bonus).
Women want comfort.
They simply want to be comfortable.
What do I mean by comfort? Guys, we all know that one dude who’s not the best looking person in the world. He’s not athletic. He may go to a gym twice. In a year. A leap year. But, somehow, he always dates the hottest women in town. And he leaves you and your better looking, nightclub ready- looking friends slack jawed. How? Why?
Because women feel comfortable around him.
Women (in general) want to talk about whatever’s on their mind when they are alone with a man. Spirituality. The cosmos. Love. Sex. Politics. The Bachelor. They want to nurture. They want to flirt. They want to flaunt their sexuality (whatever that may be). They want to fully be themselves around a man with no possibility of judgment for doing so.
Unfortunately, for women, it’s hard for them to do any of the above.
Because too many men make women feel uncomfortable.
Fellas, that woman that you are wildly attracted to is dying to show you her “real” self. However, for her to do that, you have to make her feel comfortable around you.
How to do that, you may ask?
It’s simple. Chill. Relax. That should be your mantra. When you’re around the woman you’re interested in, just chill. Let her talk. Relax. Let her talk about anything she wants to. Listen to her opinions about the spread offense in college football. Give her space to twirl her hair. Let her fart (seriously). It’s all about letting the woman be comfortable around you.
Now, my advice and “instructions” aren’t for you to get laid. This article is to let you know, smart, bright guy, that if there is a woman that you can’t get out of your head because she turns you on, you can talk to her, and get to know her better. You’re looks and financial status are personal enhancers…but that’s it. What really counts is if you can show her you can appreciate every little quirk she has without laughing (at her), or judging her.
That’s it for today. Off to take some Geritol, and find my latest AOL CD. I hope they never stop making those things.
(This article originally appeared on The Good Men Project.)