I’m in a relationship with a wonderful woman. Therefore I try to be a wonderful boyfriend. I attempt to be there for her when she needs me. I bust my ass to make sure she’s OK, and I also let her know whenever I can how beautiful she is, inside and out. For the most part, I’m a good man to her.
But sometimes, I mess up.
I really mess up.
I may forget to put the toilet seat down. I might forget to take out the trash. I can sometimes come off as insensitive. Frankly, there have been times when I’m a bit slow on the uptake.
So, I can imagine my lady saying exactly what she thinks about me to her friends when I’m being a complete Cro-Magnon — to her friends, and a few family members. With text messages, e-mails, and Facebook messages. Yup, all of it via smartphone.
And this is why I never go through my girlfriend’s smartphone when she’s not around. Ever. Because I may not want to see what she’s written about me.
I don’t want to know what name or names she called me when I accidentally erased her favorite show off the DVR list. I don’t want to know about what she really thinks about my bulbous stomach, after I’ve just stepped out of the shower and (poorly) posed like a male model. I don’t want to know how many sons of bitches and motherfu**ers I was that Saturday when I hogged the television set watching college football all day and night. And I don’t want to know what she really thinks about my cooking skills the night I decide I want to try and be Gordon Ramsay.
I’m not worried about the usual stuff guys worry about with girlfriends and smartphones, like them cheating with another guy and seeing the texts. I’m worried about reading her unfiltered feelings about my love of Star Wars. And I’m also petrified of seeing the possible responses by her friends about me. “Yeah girl … he is too short for you!”
So fellas, unless you want your feelings hurt, stay away from your girl’s Facebook inbox. You don’t want to find out what she really thinks about your Mom.
As far as my lady looking through my smartphone when I’m not around? I’m not worried.
All I’ve got on my phone is porn.
(Image courtesy of CompareMyMoble.com)