Are you a good boyfriend? To your lady? To your man? Are you supportive enough? Are you considerate? Do you wash the dishes without being asked? Can you stand your partner’s parents?
These are questions we, who are in relationships, ask ourselves. Since I love connecting with you, my readers, I thought I would give you a sample of some of the questions I ask myself, when I think of my relationship performance. Hence, I give you… The Ultimate Good Boyfriend Test.
This test contains several questions. And each question has several answers. You can answer these using your intuition and best judgement. We are all different, so your answers may be different from the ones I may have picked, or any other reader. The only way to tell if you passed is to answer the questions…and give them to your partner. If you get a hug, a kiss, or and a pass to watch college football all day this Saturday, you’ve passed. If you get a cold stare, and no amore for a few days…don’t e-mail me. You’re the bad boyfriend.
Question 1. When your partner asks if they’ve gained weight, what should your answer be?
- “No, of course not. You look great!”
- “Yes, but you wear it well, baby. “
- “I’m pleading the Fifth.”
- “Take your a** to the gym.”
Question 2. When your loved one comes home, and vents about their long day at work, while you are trying to catch up on Orange Is The New Black, do you…
- Pause the show, and listen to the rant in its entirety?
- Stop the show, and listen to the rant in its entirety?
- Pause the show, listen to the rant, and say “Woooow…”, and then go back to watching the program?
- Never stop watching the show, all the while saying, “Uh huh, yup”, while you completely never lose your concentration following the program?
Question 3. When it’s your turn to cook, and you totally forget, do you …
- Apologize profusely, and then try to whip up something on the spot?
- Apologize, and then offer to pay for a meal at a restaurant?
- Apologize, scream “Taco f*$#ing Bell it is!”, and awkwardly high five your partner?
- Shrug it off, and go back to playing Call Of Duty?
Question 4. When it comes to doing the dishes without asking, do you…
- Do them, no questions asked?
- Eventually get around to doing them?
- Stare at them, hoping a latent, mutant superpower appears and you can then vaporize them with your newfound heat-vision?
- Shrug them off, and go back to playing Call Of Duty?
Question 5. When the love of your life asks you what you love about them, what’s your answer?
- “I love everything about you!”
- “I love your (smile, spirit, looks, etc.)”
- “Your credit score”
- “That a**!”
Thanks for participating. Some of you will get lucky tonight, while others may need to duck and run.