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My First BBW Party

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(This is a reprint of a popular article I wrote for The Good Men Project a few years ago)

 

The author was invited to a size acceptance party, and had the time of his life. Here’s his account of that surprising, and ultimately important night.

“Come to the BBW party”.

“The WHAT?!”

“Come to the BBW party. It’s a party for women of size.”

“Uhhhh…?”

The “Uhhhh” was me. The party invite was from my friend Tara. We met, digitally, on some chat room (when chat rooms were THE place to meet new people). We transferred our chat room bond to Yahoo’s then brand-new Instant Messenger system, where we remained great friends who’d never met in person. Tara was funny, smart, and really easy to talk to, which is why we talked often via Instant Messenger.

After a loooong week, I was looking for something to do that coming weekend. There were a few spots that I’d hit up in my small, Midwestern town. But, I was itching to try/go somewhere new. I was 31 years old and single. Too old to go to the younger “hot” spots, but way too young to stay at home. I relayed my dilemma to Tara.

Which is when she invited me to the BBW party.

My reply to her question was “What’s a BBW party?” She explained to me that they were parties for bigger women, and the term BBW stood for Big Beautiful Woman. They were parties where these ladies could dance and have fun without the possibility of social ridicule.  She told me that the parties were fun, and that usually they were packed.

My reply? (From the mouth of a college educated man, no less): “I’m a little guy. Will I be welcomed there?”

Tara paused before typing her reply. “Yes Greg. You’ll be fine.”

“I’m a little guy. Will I be welcomed there?”

Tara paused before typing her reply. “Yes Greg. You’ll be fine.”

I thought about my schedule for that weekend. It was wide open. I then told Tara that I would go. The party was actually only a few miles from where I lived at the time. I asked Tara for the party’s location so I could MapQuest it (hey, it was 2003), and then wrote down her number, just in case I had any other questions. At that point, me going to the party was a “go”.

♦◊♦

Full disclosure: My ex-fiancé, who I’d just broken up with a few months before the party, was a bigger woman. But, the woman I dated briefly soon afterwards was a small woman. My personal code when it came to dating women was to like who I vibed with, regardless of size. I’d never had a size preference.

However, this party I was going to was going to be populated by women of a certain physical type. I’d never been in an environment like that before. As with most writers, my imagination ran wild. Would it be a gathering of sad sack big girls (I was thinking here of stereotypes I’d seen in TV and movies)? Would they be man-hungry and desperate (Again, “Hey Hollywood, thanks for the preconceptions!”)? What about the men who would go? Would they be bigger men, and would they want to pick a fight with me for being small? My mind boggled.

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